8 more facts about me (The Liebster Award)

Thank you to the amazing Caren for the nomination!

  1. I used to model when I was fourteen, until my agency told me to lose weight and I told them to fuck off.
  2. I am 180cm (5’11) tall.
  3. I am part Brasilian, German, Spanish, Austrian and American.
  4. Current Netflix Binge? The Originals. Grown up Twilight throwback.
  5. I’m a finance mayor but I wasn’t great at Maths in High School.
  6. I suck at most each and every sport, but was forced to prove that many times when unbelievers thought my height would make me a pro basketball/volleyball player.
  7. I’m trying to redefine my life. I just started college and I’m not sure I want to quit many activities I take part in.
  8. I have a Labrador and a cat. Although I quite dislike the cat.

 

1.If you had to only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would that meal be?

Wow that must absolutely suck,but I suppose I would say salads? I mean technically you can throw anything on a salad and every food group. I’m also that basic white bitch who orders salads at restaurants and gets laughed at.

2.Favourite movie? Why?

I would like to say something interesting and super refined but instead I’ll go for Brooklyn.

3.Who’s better looking, Edward Cullen or Cedric Diggory?

Cedric.

4.Favourite season?

Summer, it means travel (which I live for).

5.A book you would recommend.

Love in the Time of Cholera- Gabriel García Márquez. Latin American authors are greatly underrated. You would love the descriptive nature of his works 🙂 Bonus points if you can read it in Spanish!

6.List three of your favourite things.

Big sweaters, dark lipstick and Netflix.

7.Skinny jeans or joggers?

Skinny jeans look more put together.

8.Opinions on the Minions?

Meh.

9.Name, location and date of birth? Sorry, I was being creepy.

Interested in doing this award? I’ll nominate anyone who wants to do it. Only catch is that you must go to Caren’s page for the rules!

Hope the holidays went well!

Aisling.

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To the three men in my life in 2015

Dear James, 

To this day you’ve probably been the man I’ve loved the most.

I don’t think love is even the right word.

Did I really love you?

Or was I just infatuated with the idea of loving someone who lives exactly 9,743 kilometers away from me?

Dear James, I’m afraid I’ve no answer. I’ve no answer because you never let me figure it out.

.

I do, however, know you never loved me. You moved on, you texted me one day,

you said “I fell for you for a while”.

For a while.

 Have you any idea of how much you debilitated me?

Of course you don’t.

Or do you?

 I see the light green, guilty tint in the resonance of your voice.

I don’t know.

I don’t know.

.

.

Dear Connor, 

I unknowingly used you, and I’m sorry. I am eternally sorry for getting lost in your voice when all the other voices in my life directed their hate towards me. I’m sorry I stopped speaking to you when my heart had healed. Please know that if ever I hurt you, it wasn’t because I never saw something in you, but rather because you and I are incompatible. I’m sorry I made out with one of your best friends as some sort of fucked up symbolic statement.

I’m sorry that I never told you how beautiful your letter was, and how my favorite line is “the vicissitudes of coincidence once again conspired against two people”.

I never told you I’m sorry, C, I’m sorry for that too.

Most of all, I’m sorry about how not sorry I am most of the time. Truth be told, I rarely think about you anymore. I hope you can stop thinking of me too.

 

Dear Carlo,

For you I preserve nothing but disdain

You hurt me,

It still hurts.

 

Dear you (all three of you),

Funny how time outsmarts me every single time, isn’t it?

 

Aisling A.

 

Alliteration Agenda pt.2

Technically touching teary tenacity,

Literally losing luminous lights.

Irrationally inquiring inconsequential ideas

Nostalgically navigating nauseating nights.

Happily holding hateful hinges

Slowly sustaining specific sparks.

 

Why worship wasted weakness?

For finding falseness in fearing fights.

 

The Happy Couple: 14 year old me on self harm and anorexia

Note: I was a pretty messed up fourteen year old, which you will shortly be able to admire through this short story I wrote at that age. Self-harm and eating disorders are hardly an easy topic to discuss, and yet I feel like some of you might find this helpful or interesting. I might write more on the actual topic and my experience with overcoming it, but for now, enjoy a little fucked up piece of my early teenage years. You won’t understand what’s actually happening until the end, but that’s the part that I found scariest, re-reading this, nearly five years later. Continue reading