Saudade

I don’t miss you.

I don’t miss you.

I miss the way you would make me forget,
that my teeth are not perfectly straight
so that I would smile with a full heart.

I miss learning your alphabet
and the sound of foreign words.
Knowing you would take the time
out of your morning
to tell me to have a good day.

I miss the constant disagreement.
An apple does not
have the same effect as a cup of coffee.
Kissing girls does not
make me bisexual.
Keynes is not
Superior to Friedman.
But who the fuck cares, when it’s all in good fun?

I suppose that against
my best of judgments,
I miss the me
that I used to be
whenever your Aura
would let me see

what lightning is.

 

 

 

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Sunshine Blogger Award

Thank you to the lovely Chloe for the nomination. I’m sorry this took ages but I really appreciate you reaching out to me! I suck at life and also at these nominations so instead of doing that, I invite anyone who reads this to participate and check out Chloe’s page for all the rules.

1.Worst movie adaptation of a book that you have ever seen?

I’m going basic on this one, but Pride and Prejudice. I don’t have a huge reason for disliking it, other than the fact that they make Mr. Darcy have about as much personality as boiled rice

2. Most embarrassing moment?

Probably when drunk, precocious Aisling tried to get a guy to kiss her. The guy then said no, Aisling proceeded to puke on her best friend and fall asleep on the ground. And this, children, is why you don’t drink at 16. So much cringe.

3. Favourite food?

I’m currently super into homemade peanut butter and strawberry toast.

4. Least favourite colour?

You know Barney the Dinosaur? That colour. Disgusting.

5. Saddest character death ever?

asdhfjshdk don’t make me think about this.

6. Dogs or cats, and which are you more like?

Dogs, definitely.

7. Would you rather live your entire life in a basement or an attic?

Attic? It sounds less depressing and kind of cool. Attic sounds like comfort on a rainy day, basement sounds like cold and homicide.

8. What is your earliest memory?

I love this question. Probably carrying my newborn brother, I must have been about 1 year and 9 months old then.

9. If you could preserve one moment in time to revisit whenever you like, what would it be?

Just one. God, this is difficult. So many things come to mind, the first time I realized I was in love (with my now ex), Christmas at my family’s house, the first time  I played with snow, swimming in Bermuda, winning my first speech tournament? I’ll go with Christmas.

10. A book/movie/song you love from a genre you usually dislike?

Mujeres de Ojos Grandes- Ángeles Mastretta. You’ll find a PDF version of this in Spanish, I’ve never looked for the English version but here’s to hoping you can find it.

11. A fact about you that someone might find surprising?

The very fact that I have this blog. No one in my immediate sphere knows about it.

We are (k/∞) constants over infinity

Calculus one,

On the chalky green board

we are asked to solve for a limit.

The premise here is

As the question implies,

that x will tend to infinity.

 

We factor out x,

we simplify more,

and we are left with something surreal

That a constant divided

into infinite parts

will be nothing, a zero. Ideal.

 

Ideal because, this zero tells me

that the constants in life,

those are us.

We’re divided by time

into infinite fragments.

So eventually we’re only dust.

 

Note: The limit of any constant number divided by infinity will tend to zero. Imagine dividing something an infinite amount of times, eventually the fragments of that something will be so small, they will be practically nonexistent.

the ants in my veins

There’s no blame in refusing me

I’m a cemetery, love.

There are too many things that have long since been buried,

I cry when I feel and I cry when I don’t.

 

But maybe you’ll learn that even in graveyards

The stillest of hearts are still hearts in their own.

That even though mine is cold and forgotten

it can hurt, it can bleed, it can change, it can grow.

 

Remember that even where death is most present,

where the moon fails to light, where the people don’t go,

the soil tends to breed the most beautiful flowers

I promise to show, if you pass through this door.